I got up early this morning (as I would imagine many did, considering the “fall back” of the clocks, and found Sunday Worries and :Whoops in my Bloglines.What struck me was this quote:

This is one of those times I wish my Dad and I spoke. As it stands, I don’t have anyone in my life who I feel I can talk to about business things… whose opinion I would value nearly as much as I would my father’s.

How many of us have said the same thing? Just last week, while working on renovating my basement, I stopped to call Dad. Dad is a carpenter, and built half my house. I trust his opinion, but felt guilty calling. It seems the only reason I call is to pick his brain about something construction-related. I can’t help thinking he’s seen the parallel, and may resent it.

As I stand in my kitchen blogging, I wonder if that’s enough. Should that be the basis for a call? Is it worth it for us to get together, swallow our pride, and say “I love you/ I hate you, and my call today is strictly selfish.” What is the worst outcome of that phone call? A click on the other end? A tirade that ends with you clicking off on this end? A half-hearted reconciliation that doesn’t take?

I was given an opportunity a few years ago by my uncle. He found me after 20 years and invited me to visit with him across the country. I told him that if I was to come, I didn’t want to see my Dad, because we hadn’t spoken in years. He responded “that’s OK- we don’t talk to him either.” That visit was the beginning of a healing process by which the entire family began reconnecting and speaking. There is still much history, and we don’t all agree, but the consensus is we are all better for being connected, and we’re growing, changing, and working to be a better family.

It’s none of my business, Rich, but what have you got to lose? Swallow your pride, for the good of your kids and their college, and make the call. “If the response you get is ‘sure, you call when you need me’ then tell him ‘screw you’ and hang up. But consider opening with the fact that, as you said, “I don’t have anyone in my life who['s] … opinion I would value nearly as much as I would my father’s.”

I know it’s not simple. I know that crow tastes terrible. I also know that, if I had to, I would do anything for my kids. This is a big decision, and it involves your life’s work, your family, and their future security. If the person you trusted was any other person, you would call.

Love to you.

Every night, we go through the same thing.

I have a fourth grade daughter, who has reached the point where proper names need to be capitalized, book reviews have to be thorough, and math problems need to be right. This requires a lot of support on our part. My wife and I are constantly over her shoulder, because otherwise she spends hours writing it incoreectly, and then hours revising it all. We need to head it off quickly just for our own sanity.

My eighth grade son is so horribly disorganized it is nearly impossible to help him. He comes home without half of what he left with in the morning. Today it was a brand new down vest, worn today for the first time. Anyway, he rarely has the right paperwork, homework sheets, or class notes. The content he is studying (Earth Science, Polynomials, etc) frequently requires me to do a lot of review and research just to be able to assist him. He is being tutored in math and science to make sure he keeps up, but that also complicates the schedule. What may be the worst part is the sheer volume of work, which usually takes us well past 10pm.

We could easily work all day Saturday just to keep our heads above water. 2 soccer teams further complicate matters, as do piano lessons, church and alter serving on Sunday.

How are you handling these issues?

* I’m paraphrasing Wynton Marsalis, who said that about the music while he was touring with the Eastman Wind Ensemble. He said this, by the way, live on “The Today Show”.

Here’s a costume I feel sure you will not be ordering.

via caffeinemarketing

Direct Link to the mp3 file

Show Notes:

• Dads and Daughters
• Community Awareness Network for a Drug-free Life and Environment (CANDLE)
• Child Care Resources of Rockland
• Every Person Influences Children
• All Pro Dad
• Campaign for Commercial Free Childhood

leave a voice comment at 206-666-3998 (206-money 98)
email digdad AT worldofbernie.com

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I’ve been watching The Colbert Report on and off, and the Green Screen Challenge was a funny idea.

Some of the entries were neat. Some were dorky. But the landscape changed when Industrial Light and Magic actually got into the act. Check out video by George and the gang!

via Crunchgear

I was reading a post over at Whit’s blog (after he commented here) and it reminded me of one of my favorite diaper stories. All dads have diaper stories, don’t they?

I was at a local Big Box store with Son 12+ years ago. He and I were shopping for something for Wife, but I can’t remember what. We were moving about the store when I noted that a cloud appeared to be following us. Not a rain cloud like you might see in a Winnie The Pooh cartoon, but an odiferous cloud. Son had a gift to offer me, and while I didn’t believe I deserved a gift at this point, he was very insistent that I take it.

So, off to the rest room to change Son. Now back in the day, I remembered that Sears had a sign by the rest room that said “Changing Room” or “Changing Station” or something like that. I asked the clerk where the “Changing Area” was. Her eyes got very wide. I looked around, thinking that a large alien had just appeared, or I had said something demeaning about someone and they had just appeared behind me, having overheard my insensitive comment. Then her slack jawed expression struck a chord in my brain.

“It’s in the Ladies Room, isn’t it?” I asked. She nodded silently.

What to do in a situation like this? I have a few choices-

• Use the counter in the Men’s Room, which is assuredly wet and filthy, even though most guys don’t wash afterward. (Yeah, I said it- don’t lie!)
• Discreetly use a corner of the store, while countless disapproving eyes bore silently into the back of my head.
• Leave the store, tell Wife they didn’t have whatever I had gone for, and change him in the car.

Intrepidly, however, I chose the fourth option. With great determination (and a little aggravation at the reverse discrimination Son and I were victims of) I strode proudly into the Ladies Room.

A little aside here- have you been in a Ladies Room, gentlemen? This place is decked out! I didn’t survey the entire place, being somewhat embarrassed to do so, but what I saw at the entrance was WAY better than any old wet floored hovel they pass off as rest rooms for men. They had a loveseat, hand care products, dispensers, extra mirrors. My bedroom wasn’t as well appointed as this joint. But I digress…

I was relieved to discover that the changing space (a dedicated counter) was located near the door. I brought Son (now at arms length, as he was quite aromatic) to the spot and carefully (no padding) placed him upon the counter. A few ladies came and went during the process, and some looked askance, but understood when I said over my shoulder ‘they have no changing area in the Men’s Room’.

Son and I left, our dignity intact but our ire increased. We jetted off a letter to the Big Box store telling them of our embarrassing situation and explaining to them that, in these modern times (12 years ago) there were appliances that allowed stores to create a changing area in ANY restroom, and at a minimal cost with tremendous benefits. We have not been back to that changing area, since at 13, he manages on his own… mostly. However, I’ll long remember that slack-jawed saleswoman, my Ladies Room foray, and the dismay I felt at having been a victim of discrimination*.

*I do NOT believe that this is in any way comparable to glass ceilings, racial profiling, gay bashing, or any other egregious forms of discrimination. I’m being (hopefully) funny. As a hetero middle-class white guy, this will most likely be the closest I get to real discrimination in my life.

My wife brought home a brochure for The First Annual New York Fathers Conference.

It sounds like a lot of fun. There are 3 sessions, with 7 workshops available for each session. It includes breakfast (continental) and lunch. There are about 15 organizations sponsoring the conference, and the keynote is by Joe Kelly, President of Dads and Daughters.

I’m hoping to get my portable gear together and do a podcast from there. I’d also love to get another blogger (Rich?) to come along, and maybe we could blog it! With 7 workshops each session, but accounting for duplication, we could cover it well if we work it out. I’m also hoping that the organizers might give me a little ‘journalistic freedom’.

If you’re a local, drop me a line at vincenzo AT worldofbernie.com if you are interested in joining me to cover this exiting event.

I was over at Profgrrrrl’s blog and she was speaking to her underclasspersons about extracurriculars. I was thinking about the things I did as an undergrad. Did your schedule look like this?

• Resident Assistant- 1 1/2 years
• Resident Director- 1 year
• Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia Fraternity (2 years- Music Committee Chair, Audit Chair)
• Student Government- 3 years
• Music Educators National Conference- 4 years, 3 years as an officer
• New York State Student Music Educators Association (3 years, 1 as Magazine Editor, 1 as President)
• Pep Band (2 years)
• College President Search Committee (1 semester)
• Orientation Leader (3 summers)
• Stage Hand for Concert Office (4 years)
• Public Safety Dispatcher (1 year)

Am I a dork with a capital “D”, an overachiever, or am I normal?

Of course, that would be normal for a blogger. Aren’t we by definition all overachievers?

Last month, while over at Suburban Turmoil, I read of The Perfect Post Awards. A group of bloggers get together and select what they think are the perfect posts for the last month, and place them in a single repository. There are enough blog entries there to get you through an entire month, waiting for the next awards.

This month, I have nominated Sarah, of Sarah and the Goon Squad. She was guest blogging Goomah on The Blogfathers on how It’s Cool to be a Dad. What I liked most about the post is it’s sense of humor about traditional ‘Dad things’ while still respecting the role that we play in the lives of our children. Moms will cringe, Dads will cheer, and everyone will laugh.

Check out the other Perfect Posts at Suburban Turmoil and Petroville. Thanks also to Lindsay and MommaK for doing the leg work. I get to do the cool part- search for next months Perfect Post!

Filed in: Perfect Posts