Professing Mama pointed out the Gender Genie, so I tried it out.

Apparently, there are certain keywords that appear more in mens writing than womens, and vice versa. Gender Genie applies a simplified algorithm to any text you enter (500 words or more) to determine the gender of the author.

How did it do with “Digital Father”? Or better yet, how did I do in attempting to convey my masculinity through my blog? I submitted 2 of my more extensive passions, both on what you might call ‘womens issues’. After reviewing my writings on the HPV vaccine and sexualization, Gender Genie has decided. I’m a man. I can write about women’s issues, but clearly I am a man.

I think I’ll go eat a steak now.

If you don’t read Get Fuzzy, you are missing out!

Who knows about my blog?-

• My wife, although she doesn’t read it, as far as I know.
• The Director and members of my church and community choirs. I link to my blogs off of my personal website.
• My college friends. They are my most faithful readers.
• A handful of colleagues from a previous job.
• Those who find me at various search engines, hosting sites, and podcast/blog directories.

Who has an inkling I blog, but has no means/interest/personal desire to read it?

• My children, although both are savvy enough to find it if they chose.
• My job. I’m not ready for that yet.
• My high school friends, with one exception (Hi Lisa!).
• Most of my former colleagues.
• My extended family. They would not care, anyway. Except that the last podcast was about them, so maybe it’s good that they don’t listen.

Who do I keep the blog from? No one, really. But there are some I ask to read, and some I blow off when the topic comes up. I guess that makes it a sin of omission, so to speak. It’s not that I am embarrassed.

Actually, I think I am. See, many of you folks don’t really know me, so I guess that I can be someone I hope to be when I write to you. If I include folks whose feedback I fear (or whose approval I crave), I might be discouraged or dissuaded. Now, that being said, I crave the approval of most of the folks on the first list above. What’s great about them is they are my ‘unconditional supporters.’ They are the ones who’ve said, in those moments when I have been blind to reality, “well, if that’s what you want to do…” Like the old saying about friends: Many of them would help me move- One or two would help me move a body. (I haven’t asked that- I would never want them to be implicated… although I am so out of shape I would need a hand…)

Anyway, my question is this: Who knows you are blogging? Spouses? Children? Parents? Co-workers? Does it change what or how you write?

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According to the American Psychological Association (APA), sexualization occurs when:

• a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics;
• a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (narrowly defined) with being sexy;
• a person is sexually objectified—that is, made into a thing for others’ sexual use, rather than seen as a person with the capacity for independent action and decision making; and/or
• sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person. All four conditions need not be present; any one is an indication of sexualization.The fourth condition (the inappropriate imposition of sexuality) is especially relevant to children.Anyone (girls, boys, men, women) can be sexualized.

The APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls just published a literature study. Some interesting points-

• a 1997 study found that over a 40 year period, sexualized ads focused on women 85% of the time, and the percentage increased over time;
• A 1988 study shows that “teachers sometimes encourage girls to play at being sexualized adult women”;
• 1995 and 2000 studies showed “girls polic[e] each other to ensure conformance with standards of thinness and sexiness”;
• “Psychological researchers have identified self-objectification as a key process whereby girls learn to think of and treat their own bodies as objects of others’ desires”;

Self-objectification can interfere with concentration and focus. In one example, “college students were asked to try on and evaluate either a swimsuit or a sweater. While they waited for 10 minutes wearing the garment, they completed a math test. The results revealed that young women in swimsuits performed significantly worse on the math problems than did those wearing sweaters.”

Not surprisingly, sexualization is linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, adult sexual problems. Women who are exposed to these images actually may eventually endorse these stereotypes. Men have more difficulty finding an “acceptable” partner.

The APA has some thoughts on how we can counter these issues. Their 5-pronged plan includes:

1. Research- The available research is, at best, limited, and focuses primarily on women. Girls need to be more closely studied.
2. Practice- Psychologists need to raise awareness of this issue to all, through collaboration with others. Maybe schools should step up on this issue.
3. Education and Training- Psychologists need to be fully trained in dealing with this issue.
4. Public Policy- This should be good. The APA wants to work with government in programs to counter sexualization and offer ways for girls to “feel more powerful” than “just through a sexy appearance.”
5. Public Awareness- The APA wants to create multimedia presentations as well as awards recognizing for positive portrayals of girls in the media.

I don’t know that any of this is unexpected. However, I’m glad to see it all quantified.

What are we doing as parents to make sure our sons and daughters are aware of these images and issues? Do we feed into this negative feedback loop? The following folks need to stand up and pay attention to this issue:

• MGA Entertainment for Bratz Dolls
• “America’s Next Top Model”
• MTV
• Most magazines, especially teen magazines and mags like People and Us.
• The Pussycat Dolls
• Children’s Beauty Pageants

I have a request of clothing designers and sellers. For heavens sake: could you please cover a midriff? It’s nearly impossible for a parent to buy clothing that covers our daughters. I would like to buy something other than t-shirts and sweatshirts, but you leave me no choice. Every other type of shirt exposes her belly button. What is worse is that her pants can barely reach her hips. Combine these two items and no girl can pay attention to anything except the fact that her belly is hanging out.

As a 40+ male, I can tell you that if my clothes fit me like that, I would be unable to concentrate on anything other than my fat belly hanging out. It wouldn’t matter if I were thin- would I be thin enough? Is everyone looking at my belly? Do I look fat? What are they thinking.

Now- multiply 8 by 38. Yeah, right.

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Caution! Marketing post

I love blogging. I love podcasting.

However, gear costs money, and the wife would love it if I could actually take the hours I spend each day on the net into some income. I hate asking for money, so for now, I won’t.

However, if you are an internet shopping type of person, stop by my new website payforthepodcast.com to visit some of your web shopping destinations. Starting there won’t add any costs to your shopping, but it does get me a minor referral fee. It may even save you money, such as coupon discounts or free shipping. You’ll find a link to big companies such as Amazon there.

I’m adding new websites continuously. If there is a place you regularly shop, let me know by emailing dad (AT) digitalfather (DOT) com, and I will try to add it. Thanks again for being a part of the Digital Father experience, and I hope you’ll keep coming.

Photo courtesy of classbrain.com

I was over at dvorak.org and happened to see this post on hit lists.

I found a number of things disturbing about it. First and foremost was the sheer number of incidents. How could there be so many? Then it was the idea that so many of them happened so recently.

I can imagine that these things happen. Having worked in a middle school for many years, I can appreciate how the children are frustrated. But the fact that so many children lack the common sense, coping systems, or parental support to manage their anger and frustration constructively.

I know there were frustrations when we were growing up. I know we had conflict and strife. I know there were times where we thought the world was ending, and times we even wished it. These days, though, kids seem to go to darker and darker places then we knew existed.

The world is surely a much scarier place, for kids and the adults who love them.

I’m digging flow charts lately. I just blogged one over at Bernies World, so why not one here as well?

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen a flow chart used for anything serious since I left BASIC class in Middle School. Of course, those geeks are probably the ones writing these as well.

At least now those guys are funny, and not just funny looking. In any case, check how the Men’s Dress Guide.

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(photo from kidshealth.org, which has a great page on Kids and Alcohol)

Click here to play the podcast

Show Notes:

• Dad discusses letting children drink, and the possible implications. Did your parents let you drink at home when you were younger? Is it better to let them drink at home to prevent them from going out and doing it elsewhere? Is it inevitable that children will drink?

Call the voice comment line at (206) 350-KIDS
email me at dad (AT) digitalfather (DOT) com
Shownotes are always available at digitalfather.com

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(That’s how my daughter used to say it.)

Did you do something nice with your spouse today?

The Wife and I had dinner plans, but we were unable to go. You see, we’ve been waiting for snow here in the southern portion of New York. Well, we finally got it. Snow day and all. (even a bonus- tomorrow has alreadybeen called a 2 hour delay!)

Okay. To call this stuff snow would be generous. It’s been icing all day. I went out to shovel it before, and nearly had a stroke. It’s frozen on the bottom. It’s frozen on the top. It’s powdery and has very little air space. These snow banks are not like your standard-issue snow banks. These are big honkin’ piles of ice dust frozen into a giant sheetcake of suffering. To shovel it, you have to break it up into little pieces, or you end up straining your back. The worst strain is when you have a large piece on the shovel, and then it falls off, suddenly releiving you of all that weight. Then you wrench your arms to control the shovel, and POW- instant backache.

But I digress- I would have gone out in this stuff. But we had plans with another couple. Now this is interesting, because for years since we had kids, we have been unable to get out for too long. This was always a source of strife in planning, because time and financial constraints kept us from planning an elaborate, expensive dinner. Valentines Dinner was limited to a few hours- then we had to get home for the kids. Now that my son is older, we can get out for longer and longer periods.

Now our friends have a child. They need to get a babysitter, so we can’t go out for very long. While we chuckled quietly about the turn of events, we kept it to ourselves. However, when the weather became questionable last week, we suggested that our plans should be canceled. The other couple chose to hold out hope. We had resigned ourselves to the likelihood of a cancelled date, but they were hopeful.

This morning we called the restaurant.

I hate being right, but the shrimp scampi my wife made was delicious, and I didn’t mind the lazy day before AND after the shoveling.

Happy Valentines Day to all. Hope you got what you were hoping to get.

There are more downloads of the podcast in the first 7 days of February than in all of January. As you can see, January was a pretty good month on it’s own! Thank you for listening!

Welcome to all my newest listeners, and thanks for coming back. I think the next one is on “Letting you kids drink.” Got an opinion? Send it to dad (AT) digitalfather (DOT) com, or call (206) 350-5437 [KIDS].

Direct Link to mp3 file

Show Notes:

• A brief rundown of how we are dealing with a death in the family, including deciding whether to take the children to the wake and funeral service, what not to tell your children, and how to deal with a mentally challenged adult under these circumstances.

Call the voice comment line at (206) 350-KIDS
email me at dad (AT) digitalfather (DOT) com
Shownotes are always available at digitalfather.com

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